Am I being unreasonable? want to give my dogs to a better home?

Ive been arguing with my husband lately about our dogs, and although I feel like an awful dog owner I dont think Im THAT out of line. Ive got 2 brother/sister long haired chihuahuas that are 4 we've had them since they were puppies. They have major phycological (not physical) problems...confirmed by 3 vets, with thought that they may have been inbred from a puppy mill or something. One is super submnissive and pees all over the place, even though they are potty trained, its so bad that I cant even look at her without her dragging her but across the room peeing everywhere and then she starts licking it up. The male pees on any rug or towel on the floor, and if we dont lock them outside in the night they (we think its the male) poops in the house. They are terrified of any one / and animal outside of our family and bark insanely all the time. We've had a trainer come to the house, ive tried training them (im sure Ive done most things wrong but ive tried), we've tried diapers for the female. We take them out and "run them" daily but still, they have SO many issues! I just cant stand that we have these dogs that we cant pet or look at without getting peed on and have to pick up their waste from our carpet all the time! Our family has no other pets, and 2 little boys one is 4 and one is 9 months. Ive always had dogs growing up, but these two...geez ive had enough! Im just a horrible pet owner...thats my conclusion! I think that they would do so much better with someone with more experience...but my husband disagrees, although he has no other suggestions :( Any advice...on how to better train them or find them a safe healthy environment?